Sight Unseen

Just a quick post to say that Simmi picked up her wedding dress from the dressmakers today.

She's been very excited all afternoon and evening.

Suffice to say that I've not seen it yet, it's safely ensconced in a wardrobe at her grandparents.

I'm sure she'll gush to you all about it soon...

This Time Next Month

This time next month, we'll be married and we'll all be in the Courtyard of Syon House having a Pimms or champers and saying stuff like, "Ah, that was nice!".

Just looked at the wedsite and the counters say 30 days to go and 500 visitors to the site. Not counting Simmi and my sister, that means a few of you must have had a look at it. Which is nice to know.

I just bought a particularly apt tee-shirt to wear for the Bloody Mary session at the Grenadier on the day after the wedding. I'm looking forward to wearing it.

Now, I’ve Had The Time Of My Life….

So, 12 women in a cottage in Herefordshire for a long weekend. You may be thinking sedate tea parties, knitting and a penchant for ironing… but not these ladies! Picture instead eating mountains of cheese, drinking, burping, farting, cackling, tears (of hysterical laughter mainly!), shouting, singing, terrible dancing… well that would be much more like it!

We arrived Friday afternoon and attempted a barbeque but the coal was a bit wet so we decided to use the Aga in the vast kitchen instead (ate quite late as Aga's take a lot longer than anyone remembered!). Friday evening was grand – we had a really nice meal and everyone was very chilled - lots of drinking and banter.

Saturday morning we were up at the bloody crack of dawn (No, she wasn’t one of the hens!) to drive to the Black Mountains in Wales for our horse riding - that was brilliant fun - they took us on a trek up into the mountains - no-one fell off, though Ant came close and Gis nearly lost her knee up my horses arse! However a raaaaather close relationship did develop between one rider and her horse (twice!) but then like all men, when it was over all he could do was fart!!! (Mentioning NO names!) Then we drove back to the cottage for a late lunch and some sunbathing in the enormous garden. (Via a breakdown in Waitrose car park!) Then a hive of activity started around me - I kept offering to help and being told to go and sit down (little did I realise what they were plotting!) eventually we were ready for champagne cocktails and a toast and then onto dinner... my fabulous hens had decorated the dining room - it looked great - streamers, confetti and a beautiful tiara (complete with veil!) all over the place and a wonderful 3 course meal all of which had been concocted pretty much in secret!

Then after the meal and during some very dubious and un-ladylike conversations in the dining room, Naomi raced round like a mad thing, decorating the living room with banners and streamers and yet more confetti! I entered the living room to find my "throne" (yep, the decorated dining chair!) had been placed centre stage and a video camera trained on it! It turned out that my darling hubby-to-be had been whisked off to ‘The Other Woman’s house and been videoed answering a load of questions about himself and my challenge was to try and guess his answers!!! It was hysterical and involved me downing an awful lot of shots of Amaretto & Kaluha (bleugh!) and lots of giggling from the girls at my beloved's silly answers! (Tiiiiitties!) It was a fantastic surprise and really well planned out – Thank you SO much Naomi!

Then my stripper appeared!!! In came Mel sporting a fake beard and a (plastic!) 6 pack chest, cap & padding and did a strip tease for me! I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face and didn’t quite know where to look! The rest of the evening was a bit blurry, but lots of drinking - I remember that much!

Then Sunday we went Kayaking on the River Wye - that was brilliant fun and a great hangover cure. Our instructor was a little humourless to begin with, but livened up after a while even making us stand up and reveal an unusual fact about ourselves (he regretted that when he heard Enda’s!), a water fight then ensued with my canoe taking on so much water I nearly sank… which wouldn’t have mattered as I managed to capsize myself while trying to get out anyway! Sunday afternoon/evening was spent curled up under duvets on the sofas watching chick flicks and drinking yet more booze (there was a LOT to get through!) and ended up with us dancing round the room to "I've Had The Time Of My Life" which had us all in hysterics! (A sight to behold at the wedding, but in our finery this time rather than our PJs!) – Unfortunately there is no recorded evidence of Gen getting so carried away with her filming duties that she threw her arms up in the air and almost in a slow motion picture the arm chair tipped backwards and Gen went with it (crashing not through the window as we thought, but merely into the shutters!) leaving her stuck, wedged in at the bum, arms and legs flailing madly, crying with laughter and cramp in her big toe, whilst 7 other women rolled around on the floor, howling with laughter, tears streaming down their faces and Sir Patrick of Swayze smouldering on in the background….

And then sadly home yesterday morning (well I say morning…) but after the car not starting again (all I needed was a new key!) getting seriously stuck in traffic jams and tearing round the Surrey countryside racing against the clock to get Enda to Gatwick (thank god for airline security procrastinations!) on time Lex, Chris and I didn’t make it onto terra firm until 8.30pm!

The Craic was Mighty

Well, I'm back at work after my Stag weekend in Dublin. I still have all my bits and pieces and all the hairy bits are still hairy thankfully.

I'm now an officially qualified Irish Whiskey Taster, even though my certificate was lost in a comedy club on Saturday night.

The 18 men who were there all had a great, boozy old time and I think there are some people feeling very sorry for themselves at their respective desks today.

Simmi is still on her way back from her weekend in Herefordshire, so I'm sure she'll tell you all about it later.

Now it's a case of a month of eating and drinking sensibly while the preparations for September 16th become more frenetic.

Sláinte!

There's a Shrimper on the Decks

Last night we met Euan, who'll be the DJ for the evening.

Nice guy, had a few good ideas about cetrain points in the evenings and we discussed the lighting he'll be supplying (no lasers, strobes or smoke machines). The main topic though, was that he wanted to get a handle on the sort of music we want played.

He agreed with me on how over-rated the Beatles are, with Simmi on how there should be no ABBA, and said that he's quite looking forward to not having to play the "same old stuff" that most couples ask for (that'll be shite pop music then - if you want any Take That, Celine Dion, Boyzone or the like, we may have to rescind your invite).

But he and I had to disagree over whether or not to play Barry White or any other "Disco" tracks. He won't be, By Order!

Anyway, the discussion then moved from there to football and it turns out that he's a Southend fan. You don't often meet too many of them, so while Simmi's eyes glazed and jaw slackened, we discussed the coming season. As I said, nice bloke (if a little too keen on D.I.S.C.O. for my taste!).

A Day at the Races

So, yesterday we had the London legs of our stag & hen shenanigans. I'll leave Simmi to give you details of what happened on the hen night, but from what I can gather, it was a fairly eventful evening.

For my part, I met up with a gang of lads at the George pub on Borough High Street and we headed off down to Lingfield Park to see the gee-gees.

It was a good day, with some of us having a few wins, especially Pete Bond, who came away a good £600-worth of the bookie's money. Well done Pete!

After the last race, we headed back to New Cross and the charms of the Marquis and the Amersham awaited. I should mention the sterling work of 'Evil' Pete Barrow, who snuck off to an off-licence while we waited for a train at Lingfield and returned just as the train was pulling in with a box laden with beer, cider and crisps (the only solids that I ingested during the whole episode). Marvellous stuff.

Anyway, the imbibery continued into the early hours and a few more lads met up with us there. It was in the Amersham at some time after 1am that I suddenly realised I'd had more than enough and had to go home. Like, now! So I sloped off without telling the lads, hopped in a cab and was comatose in my armchair when Simmi got home at about 2.30am. What a wuss, as Smiffy so aptly texted me.

You may rest assured that much drink was taken, and that today has been a write-off for us both.

In more sensible news, the men's shirts were delivered yesterday and they look great. So that's another thing crossed off the list.

At Long Last

Well, we finally got 'em.

At lunchtime today (actually yesterday now), I went to see the jeweller and handed him a cheque. In return, he handed me two prisitine wedding rings. Yes, the whole sorry "Rings Saga" has come to a successful end, and mighty glad we are too!

They look great and are probably better than the originals, which they'd want to be for twice the price. They are now safely tucked away ready for the big day.

I make that a successful day, even though the D.J. didn't show up after we'd arranged for him to come round for a wee chat about the disco-a-go-go entertainment. He'll be receiving a phone call later, that's for sure.

Right, I'm off to me bed, it's a big evening at the beer festival tomorrow.